I was having a conversation with some friends recently on the topic of letting go and how caring about someone makes it difficult and rather uncomfortable to just sit back and watch as they make their own mistakes.
Caring about someone means we want what’s best for them. From our life experiences we have picked up wisdoms, life lessons and have had our eyes opened to what does and does not serve us in our higher purpose and life plan.
We know that negativity does not bring us joy, we also know that unhealthy habits of mind and body do not allow us to live up to our full potential. In learning what works in happy, healthy and positive ways we want to share this knowledge with those we care about so that they do not need to go through the hurt and discomfort that we experienced in order to learn the lesson.
This is all very well and good, intentions are pure and hearts are in the right place but…
The message can only be received and the lesson only learned if the receiver is open to receiving!
This is where the choice comes in :-
Do you let go and allow each individual to travel their own path and learn through their own mistakes, trusting that should they fall they will get up again?
Do you keep trying to talk to them, involving yourself in their process of learning by volunteering information without them asking for it? Do you keep trying to help and feel hurt and disappointed because they won’t let you in and won’t take your advice to allow for a smooth and pain free transition?
You would think that the option that requires less physical input and interaction is the one that is easiest and will reap more reward and therefore more joy but this is not so.
Allowing someone to find themselves through their own process of learning as you stand by is often more difficult than putting your two cents in the mix.
The state of allowing and letting go requires increased energy because you need to remind yourself to stop and back off. Expending your energy attempting to help someone who is not ready and open to receive help is not going to make you happy it is going to cause you hurt, pain, frustration and in the long run feelings of inadequacy and failure. But, in letting go, although it hurts in the beginning as you watch someone you care about stumble and maybe even fall, you begin to see them for who they are, warts and all….from here begins acceptance, respect and learning to love them as they are.
It is loving human nature that wants the best for everyone around them, even parents don’t want their children to endure the difficulties they endured in their lifetimes and it is those very difficulties that bred strong character and a defined sense of self!
I’ve found that with the path of transformation, positivity and growth that I have taken I have lost some friends along the way, it is sad but it is a reality that I am OK with.
I accept that we all need to embrace what it true to our soul journey and maybe one day some friends will return and maybe they won’t….but it is what it is and in letting go there is joy and there is serenity!
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